3 Confidence-Building Secrets Every Speaker Needs

Have you ever watched a baby take their first steps? It’s a little wobbly, maybe even a bit comical, and they’ll almost certainly fall a few times. But here’s what’s beautiful — they get up, take another step, and then another. Over time, those shaky, uncertain steps turn into steady, confident strides.

That’s exactly how confidence is built — through action. Not through waiting until you feel confident enough. Not through wishing or overthinking. It’s in the doing.

As a public speaking coach, one of the most common questions I get is:
“How do I get better at speaking in front of people?”

And my answer is always the same:
“You speak.”

I’m not being facetious. You really have to do the very thing you’re hesitant to do in order to become the self-assured speaker you desire to be.

How to Take Action and Build Speaking Confidence

If public speaking makes you nervous, you’re not alone — and you’re not hopeless. The key is to stop waiting for confidence to magically appear and start taking consistent baby steps that will lead you there. Here’s how:

1️⃣ Look for Everyday Opportunities to Stretch Yourself

Building confidence doesn’t require a big stage or a spotlight. It happens in the small, everyday moments when you push yourself to speak up.
Try:

• Offering an idea in a work meeting – The great thing about this is that you will usually receive the agenda in advance. This means you have time to review it and craft your remarks for any particular points.
• Volunteering to say the prayer during Bible study or Sunday School – A prayer is from the heart, so there’s no particular way you must do it. You could also choose to say the grace at family dinner.
• Introducing yourself at a networking event – Besides your name and what you do for work (if it’s an event for professionals), what interesting fun fact can you share about yourself? Or is there a creative, unusual way you can describe what you do?
• Giving announcements at your club or organization – You can bring notes to read. Just remember not to keep your eyes glued down at the notes the whole time. Talk to your listeners and not to the notes.
• Answering a question in class with your honest thoughts – If you’re taking a class, don’t shy away from answering questions that the instructor poses. Teachers love interaction from students! You may have a perspective that they hadn’t considered before, which adds to the discussion.

These moments might seem small, but each one is a step toward confidence.

2️⃣ Say ‘Yes’ More Than You Say ‘No’

If your default response to speaking opportunities is “No, thank you,” it’s time to flip that script. Start saying “Yes” — even when you’re unsure. This mindset shift won’t feel natural at first, and that’s okay. The purpose isn’t perfection; it’s practice.

Each yes is a chance to get more comfortable and to retrain your mind to be receptive rather than resistant when opportunities arise. You won’t say yes every time — but say it more than you say no. Watch how it adds up.

3️⃣ Focus on One Goal at a Time

When you do say yes to a speaking moment, don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to improve everything at once. Choose one goal for each opportunity.

Maybe it’s:

• Reducing filler words
• Slowing your pace
• Using gestures naturally
• Maintaining eye contact

Focus on that one goal for your next three speaking opportunities. Then reflect on your progress and move to the next goal. This keeps you from feeling scattered and helps you build momentum in a focused, intentional way.

Show Up Before You Feel Ready!
Here’s the truth: you may never feel completely ready when putting yourself out there. That’s normal. But something powerful happens when you show up anyway — you rise to the occasion.

One day, public speaking won’t feel like a life-or-death situation anymore. You’ll realize you’ve quietly and steadily built a foundation of confidence by taking one small action after another.

Remember: Confidence follows action. It’s not something you wait for; it’s something you create.

What’s one opportunity this week where you can stretch yourself? Identify it. Say yes. Focus on one improvement goal. And take that next baby step!

Because every confident speaker you admire? They started with a wobbly step too.

If this article spoke to you, it’s time to put those baby steps into action. Join me in my Speak with Confidence class, happening June 28th via Zoom. You’ll pick up practical, effective strategies for calming those out-of-control butterflies and showing up like the speaker you’re meant to be. Learn from Roquita, a certified World Class Speaking Coach, who has worked with countless individuals and organizations to be confident, engaging speakers for over 9+ years. Reserve your virtual seat by registering here.